A friend posted this quote on FB.
“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” ~ Jodi Picoult
Read it once and thought this is not correct; some loners may truly enjoy solitude instead of socialization. Amongst a host of comforting attributes, solitude brings reflection, tranquility, solace and protectiveness. With solitude, there is a deliberation of the self that demands stillness, a meditation on the me, myself and I with no interruption.
Many cannot understand the benefits of or how to fit solitude into their lifestyle. Still others readily presume solitude is a negative state of being; to be alone- that dreadful word-even the sound of it conjures up a barren desert. Moreover, if you are a loner, then you have done something wrong, there is a reason you don’t fit into society, why you don’t blend in.
How do you blend into the world if you cannot blend into society?
People are disappointing. The ways we deal or chose not to deal with people can be disappointing and the ways people deal with us or chose not to can also be disappointing. I believe expectations placed upon others, based upon our wants and needs are destined to result in disappointments. We cannot expect or change people to our likings. That may be the reason “loners” give up trying. Expectations are set too high and are unattainable. They have not learned how to navigate through the world while remaining objective and accepting with serenity. Lord grant me…
I am a loner (sometimes being alone is the best way to be). Am I a loner because I tried to blend into the world and people disappointed me? It’s a possibility and may be closer to the truth than I care to admit.
At this time, I am in recovery from two year’s worth of medical, physical but not emotional stuff. Being alone right now, is the best way to be, while I write and get myself together so I can jump into the next chapter of life.
4 thoughts on “Loner”
It’s interesting to see this point of view. I can’t say fore sure if I agree or not, but it is something I will think about now.
Thanks for your comment.
I dont know if I agree with the FB comment by Jody, because I am a loner, have always being a loner and I dont think my loneliness was caused by being disappointed by people, it is just my nature to enjoy solitude. It doesnt mean I dont crave interaction with other people, it just means that I dont have the constant need to be surrounded by friends or people like extroverts do. We do live in a society that has a negative view on people like us, placing shame on our way of being, soemthing that we cannot help, because it is part of our nature. Because of this , for the longest time I questioned myself thinking that I was selfish, that it was a quality that I needed to change, that there was something tremendously wrong with me, but gradually little by little and with the help of God (Im not religious, I m just a very spiritual person-not the same ), realized that I needed to accept myself as I am. FRom that day forward , I have found peace within myselff.