Mega Millions…


2017 is almost out the door.

So many memorable political moments in the year as well as some notable human souls going into shadow that will leave a dent in our social fabric-most recently Erica Garner.

She passed on at the age of 27 from a heart attack or as Al Sharpton stated  Many will say that Erica died of a heart attack, but that’s only partially true because her heart was already broken when she couldn’t get justice for her father”.

Erica Garner was a warrior who turned tragedy into a platform for social justice instead of wallowing in bitterness and should haves, could haves.


2017 is almost out the door.

Habits and routines are difficult to break because, habits and routines are dependable, always there, nothing to question and no anxiety.

I wanna be superwoman

I wanna make a major change in the world

I wanna be like Erica Garner and stand for social injustice

I wanna be a rebel and give the middle finger to every passive aggressive white person I’ve had to deal with

I wanna win the Mega Millions jackpot and take care of the people who have remained in my life along with its idiosyncrasies.Mega_Millions_Lottery_logo.svg

I wanna buy a large piece of Russian River land in Cali and set up an animal/artist sanctuary with a friend who is dear to mi alma.      fbae963da2b442690d03f6a3e8a1f7d0


Does that promote social justice?

It would be a sanctuary for the outcasts of America, the eclectics, insane, irrationals, unpredictable dreamers, wanna be r’s and the right to live without you eatin’ me.

Animals and artists, so much in need of love, support and hope.


2017 left the building.




**photos from the World Wide Web-not mine.


No money in my pocket…

The job I do which comes with money, insurance, sick and vacation days-

Will Never Define Me.

If I left tomorrow, another would take my place and yesterday’s trash would hold my memory.  I work for an organization that bears no ownership from me but seeks to own me 9-5 five days a week, 52 weeks of the year.

Not my circus, not my monkeys and,

still I work.

For the pitiful salary that allows me to live paycheck to paycheck.

I work.

Twenty-three dollars of green and cream coloured paper can pay for a NYRR race so yes, I


Some money is better than no money.

Before 9am I am the person who owns myself, running 4-6 miles through Ppark alleviating all the knots and kinks required for the introvert in me to go forth into the wonderful office space world where, annoying can’t be alone extroverts, rule.

After 5pm, I revert to being me, in my apartment, wearing the jammies, with the furbabies, two glasses of wine and a good book or SVU on the tube. The introvert in me welcomes my non-inclusive space.

Non-inclusive means space for me and surely not you.

Lord have mercy…

for the extroverts and their lonely selves cannot exist without the attention sucked from introverts who long for the private office the extroverts occupy.

Still I work.

Money is earned not given in my case.

I work…

not for the accolades which are reserved for those who make the most and work the least.


because it pays the endless bills left always in arrears.

Some money is better than no money so

I work and will keep working until the bills ride off into the sunset or I win mega millions and with my middle finger held high, I ride off into the sunset.

***images from the web…

Ellipsis abuse or….what I am.

Ok…so I use allot of ellipsis. Allot.
In case you are wondering what ellipses are are defined by Webster:

Definition of ELLIPSIS
play\i-ˈlip-ˌsēz, e-\
1. 1a : the omission of one or more words that are obviously understood but that must be supplied to make a construction grammatically complete b : a sudden leap from one topic to another
2. 2: marks or a mark (such as … ) indicating an omission (as of words) or a pause


I surely did not know the definition of ellipses let alone the word itself until now…and I don’t care.
Ellipsis comes naturally to me. I pause. Allot. It’s how my mind works.

Of course, my use of the ellipsis is not in the norm of grammatically correct usage. Realistically it’s not…in my brain it is. I’d also elicit a ‘rolling eyes’ response from English professors with my abuse of contractions. I do try to spell out the: I would not, I would, cannot, should not, etc. Laziness in typing gets the best of me at times and…

I do not apologize for my ellipses or my contractions.Yup.


***image borrowed from the world wide web

Mean Girls pt2…

I returned to General Practice Veterinary Medicine after four months of working  12-14 overnight shifts in Veterinary Emergency care. Time spent in ER was incredible in terms of experience gained and processing death from trauma. I truly miss the doctors and eager vet students I was fortunate to work with. Their love of medicine and the desire to save all God’s creatures from injuries was unprecedented. I realize the privilege to work with this crew and although  BP misplaced me in terms of job title and where I truly needed to be, which inevitably led to my failure-I forgive. Nothing can replace what I saw, did, treated, prayed over, held as the last breath was released, can ever measure up to the experiences gained in working overnight emergency.

20151016_130102 (2)

Fate’s OHE-spay (uterus)


BP will accept me back.

After…20141128_154254-1 (2)

More time spent in GP.

Yes. I miss ER.


My body and emotional mindset is exhausted.

I no longer shed tears at PTS’s (put to sleep). 20141107_103448 (2)

Not in front of clients.

Not in the bathroom.

Not on the train going home.


At night, when I stare at the ceiling at bedtime.

I guess it’s all good in some sick way for I can now concentrate on the owners and offer more support from mi alma which no longer feels.

My blog on transitioning to this career has ended. My thoughts on the continuance in this career  as well as school is now questionable. 20151024_071642 (2)


The other side of this business is still present and for that matter,  will always be. As long as there are insecure, unstable nurses-the Mean Girls , in this field the drama will thrive.

Don’t want to end up on NY1 so I’ve grown thick skin, a thick heart an emotional void and most importantly the desire to have only working relationship with them.

No, you are not my friend or close confident.

No, I do not need your approval to validate how I do my job.20150417_152313 (2)

No, I will not gossip about other co-workers, maliciously or even constructively with you.

No. No. No.

Accusing me of not cleaning?

Please watch the video.

2016 is in full string and transitions seem to be lining up. I’ve thought about leaving the state in search of Tech Nursing work. My mind is working, talking to others who have relocated and gauging if this is a necessary transition to make.

Time will tell. Actually the Fall will tell.

I’m biting at the bit and I love an adventure.

20141003_124721 (2)

Why not?

Cali, Georgia, one of the Carolina’s. Florida? Virginia, Washington, Seattle?

Who knows.



More words…

Soon to come.

For a bit of a spell,

 I lost my muchness.




The Dont’s and the Do’s…

I’ve given up quite a bit of my life to do what I do… images

I don’t

.. have an apartment of my own

I don’t

…have the solitude at the end of the day or the tranquility of the morn

I don’t

…control the cleanliness

I don’t

… meditate or practice my DVD yogas or try to be a wanna be Buddhist anymore

I don’t

… have personal conversations on the phone…for the privacy in order to have the personal  is no longer there

I don’t

… cook the way I used to-I seldom cook which is not what I am used to

I don’t

…have lazy Sundays or binge tv watching-I hardly watch tv and Sundays, well , I work at doing what I’ve given up quite a bit to do what I do

I don’t

…have normal days off, for my Saturdays starts on Mondays

I don’t

…wear makeup or heels to work

I don’t

…wear jewelry especially my new pandora bracelet or have my hair flowing in the wind to work

I don’t

…make lots of money to buy fancy clothes and get my hair ‘did’ on a regular basis

I don’t

…check my FB account on a daily basis or text till my fingers freeze

I don’t

…play with puppies or kittens all day long


I do

…help save lives and help to end the lives of those who desperately need to go

I do

… come home in the evening knowing I contributed immensely towards helping an animal in need

I do

…bust my ass in getting the school work done to make sure I know what I’m doing when it comes to treating our furry or naked friends

I do

…respect propofol, kitty magic (dexdomitor combination),  and an ecollar

and most especially a burrito wrap 

I don’t like feeling bad because of the DON’T’S  but I feel  pretty awesome applesauce about the DO’S










***images from the world wide web

On having a bad day…

Not all days are good days

…On a Sunday, working with a vet who thinks you’re incompetent because you can’t place a catheter into the deflated vein of a severely dehydrated dog scheduled for an euthanasia and witnessing the vet, not able to place the catheter as well but yet you’re the one feeling useless and incompetent


…Waking up on that Sunday and realizing you have 7-8 more hours of neurotic emergency-paced work in a general practice hospital and wishing you could just pull the covers over your head and block out the world

…Going to bed Saturday night stressed because you arrived home at 4:30pm from working at the clinic and the cable/modem decided to go out and did not return until 11pm and you spent two hours working on an online math test only to fail which makes it ‘failed test #2’


…Waking up on a Saturday, knowing it’s a Saturday and dragging your butt off to the clinic after working 12 hours on Friday at the other place which turned out to be a good day at the clinic but since this piece is about not all days being good, this sentence stops…here.

…Working on Friday stuck running patient rooms under the vet who runs at an emergency pace and the day is spent restraining and sticking your thermometer up animal butts because the vet is micromanagement and will not allow you to do anything but work the rooms and stick your thermometer up the animal butts and doing this for twelve hours

…Going to bed Thursday night realizing what the next day entails before it even begins

…Working with a favourite vet on Thursday for twelve hours who is relaxed and let’s me do the job I was hired to do

…Waking up on a Thursday, knowing it is my Monday while everyone I know is winding down looking forward to the weekend but I go into work optimistic because I am working with a favourite vet and the end of the twelve hour day will bring a sense of accomplishment

Not all days are good days

…When the sacrifices made to enter into a new field hits reality and you realize what was sacrificed has irreparable consequences

…Wishing you didn’t give up that $##,###.## a year salary with full medical and dental coverage but not wishing for the job that went along with it

…The clothes you have are from 1999 and 1/3 of them no longer fit, most especially when you need to show up at work sans the scrubs

…The last haircut was in 2012 and you paid ridiculous amounts of money for a trim and shape, which resembled the same style you concocted at home that same morning before going to the salon

…Seeing the dust bunnies in your room take shape and move on their own because you can’t reach them with a dust buster unless you move every bit of furniture, stacks of papers and exercise machines to get at them



Not all days are good days…


***all photos taken from the world wide web


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