Mercedes Benz…

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz?

Janis Joplin and her Mercedes Benz…

Of course, my pity me, pity bee self, let those lyrics set in my heart at a young age while I licked my “How many licks does it take to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop?”

Joplin was amazing.

A white chick who could wail like a black chick and gained kudos beyond the norm for being a white chick who could wail like a black chick. Meanwhile the black chicks who are the backup singers to the white musicians remain in the background, behind the lines of the white musicians who need their sound to cross barriers and bring in more buyers of their records.

Tina Turner was amazing as she wailed out in front while her backup singers remained in the back. The black chicks that is…

‘Nuf said.’

So…

Back to asking for that Mercedes Benz…

The ONE and ONLY, THE LEADER OF US ALL, the one otherwise known as JEHOVAH, YAHWEH, ADONAI, GOD, THE ALMIGHTY…this stops here (Current thunder and lightning storm taking place and it is not wise to anger the ONE who controls the weather). Well he’s not giving me a Benz, nor am I asking for it. What I want, what I really want, and yes, I’m telling you, is a grand piano.   piano-1522856__340

 Sigh…

I’ve been teased by three grands over the years.

The first was a Bechstein, when the company was in NY, before the rents went up. It was a lower end model, selling for $8k. I let it go or rather it let me go, for when I decided yes it was the one, someone else bought it then mom, my mom, became sick…very sick.

SOLD

The second was a Mason and Hamlin which sat in a church collecting dust in the corner. I begged, tried to borrow, could not steal- everyone. No loan, no piano. It was bought the next day and ended up on Craigslist a month later selling for $15k. Duh…

SOLD

The third piano, and yes this is it. No more searching, do, did, done. Nunca más.  The heart (mi corazón) cannot allow false hope (esperanza)  to take hold only to dissipate into steam, traveling upwards towards the sky (el cielo) , out of reach, out of sight, out of mind. piano-1655558__340

Sigh…

This time, it was a 5 foot 7 Steinway grand, placed on Craigslist and discovered while scouring the job market ads. The address on the ad was located five blocks up from where I live. Yes, my neighbor who moved here twenty years ago before the gentri came, when it was cool and hip to live here, when the rents were under $2k…enough…is currently selling their 5 foot 7 Steinway grand for an unheard of price.

Bubble gum wraps!!!!  (Not the words I prefer to use but profanity is such a cliché reaction-whatever)

Sigh…

No funds reserved in a savings account, in a 401k fund, in a money market, in an overseas bank account, in a CD, in a mattress or under it, in a silver plated box buried in the backyard, or in a sugar daddy’s pocket. My salary will not cover the cost of the piano, as the salary itself is a joke because I work with others who make way more than me for doing way less.piano-2412403__340

Go figure.

Borrowing the money to pay for the piano is akin to hitting lotto’s biggest jackpot. So close but yet so far or rather I pretend the wasted money I used to purchase the lotto ticket  will bring me riches as I do not know a soul who would lend me the Benjamins, period.

So…

Getting back to Janis with a twist:

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me, my neighbour’s Steinway?

My friends play Bosendorfer’s, I must make amends

Worked hard all my lifetime, switching careers back and forth

So Lord, won’t you buy me my neighbour’s Steinway?

piano-2173426__340

Stuck in a Rut

English: Stuck in a deep rut on the outskirts ...
English: Stuck in a deep rut on the outskirts of Toowoomba, ca.1925. The Garage contains approximately 500 images of vehicles used in Queensland Australia, covering the period from1900. The images are linked to an index of the State Library of Queensland’s extensive collection of automotive repair manuals. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If I had control of my own universe, of course with the blessings and guidance of the ONE and only, I’d:

-Go back to school and become a Vet Tech.

-Quit my day job and stay at home writing in my office or in the neighbourhood Starbucks

-Drink endless amounts of coffee and mocha thingys while writing at Starbucks

-Hit the local library to write with water bottle in tow when the money runs low or I develop heart palpitations from the coffee (which ever comes first).

-Practice four to six hours on my spinet then relax in smug satisfaction knowing, come Sunday my teacher would not have one word of criticism.

-Sip Cabernet while munching on Weight Watchers cheese after lessons on Sunday in celebration of my teacher’s endless praise.

-Read the entire New York Times weekender and the advertisements and clip out the coupons.

-Become a coupon fanatic and turn fifty dollars of groceries into twenty from all the coupon savings and the two for one’rs.

-Attempt to braid my hair and paint my toenails hot pink and not necessarily in that order.

-Give up Facebook…well…

-Spend less time on Facebook.

-Experiment with cooking.

-Experiment with cooking using the twenty dollars’ worth of groceries from my savings.

-Attend all the freebee things in Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens and the Bronx. Not Staten Island, too far a drive.

-Daydream with no time limit, sleep all day and party like a rock star at night as long as I’m in bed by nine and up at five.

-Groom the boys the old fashion way.

-Learn to bandage the bites from the boys received during grooming.

This is what runs through my brain when I’m stuck in a rut.

“I want a golden goose and I want it NOW!”

I want a one-bedroom apartment with a fireplace, indoor parking garage, a pool and a backyard.

I want to live in a neighbourhood where the only sounds I hear at night are crickets.

I want a grand piano and no, not a Steinway but a Bosendorfer.

I want to win Mega Millions and not the $2 prize but the bunch of millions prize.

I want to lose allot of weight in two weeks’ time.

I want new clothes to compliment the weight loss I lost in two weeks’ time.

I want a female pit bull.

I want to name my female pit bull- Ms Piti Bee or maybe Ms Piti Me.

I want a house in the country, in a gated community, in case Jason Voorhees tries to contact me.

I want the entire Fall 2012 Mulberry bag collection.

I want a road bike.

I want to ride my road bike in the country, near my country home, in the gated community.

I want a Life Alert button so if I fall someone will eventually come to get me up.

I want someone to live with me so I won’t need the Life Alert button.

I want and I want and only get what I need and sometimes what is desperately needed but for now I will daydream of living in Veruca Salt’s world.

The Neglected Spinet

My piano, a 1964 Acrosonic Spinet (Baldwin) has not been feeling the love lately.  

The love being my clumsy fingers tapping on its’ imitation ivory keys as I struggle through yet another classical piece that is beyond my learning curve.

Busyness has taken over my time.

Busy with work, busy with the boys (dogs), busy trying to exercise, busy getting dressed in order to exercise, busy trying a diet, busy modifying the diet to meet my needs versus the needs of the diet itself.

Boy, am I busy.

Busy setting up the altar for mass with the chalice, wine, ciborium and wafers. Busy attending church, participating and praying. Busy cleaning up the altar after mass washing the chalice, bringing home the linens for washing.

Busy.

Busy with being busy, as the piano sits, going out of tune from the lack of love.

So, tonight, after dragging myself home through the NYC subways, (which incidentally is not my preferred method of transportation during hot, humid ,NYC summer days) and after noshing on some food, I will sit in front of the piano and practice.

I will play as if the first time, three years ago when my spinet came home.

Still busy.