Cats rule my world.
That is…the cats in my household.
Tara-Habby rules the first floor. (Queen Bee will have a blog entry of her own,very soon.)
My second floor apartment is home to three cats.
Three cats who rule my world.
Of course, words cannot describe their rein over my abode but pictures, yes, pictures are visual proof.
Beds
Chairs
Gym
Scratching Post
Groceries
Cabinets
The visuals could go on, and on…it stops here.
Yes.
My cats rule my world. (sigh)
I returned to General Practice Veterinary Medicine after four months of working 12-14 overnight shifts in Veterinary Emergency care. Time spent in ER was incredible in terms of experience gained and processing death from trauma. I truly miss the doctors and eager vet students I was fortunate to work with. Their love of medicine and the desire to save all God’s creatures from injuries was unprecedented. I realize the privilege to work with this crew and although BP misplaced me in terms of job title and where I truly needed to be, which inevitably led to my failure-I forgive. Nothing can replace what I saw, did, treated, prayed over, held as the last breath was released, can ever measure up to the experiences gained in working overnight emergency.
And…
BP will accept me back.
After…
More time spent in GP.
Yes. I miss ER.
But…
My body and emotional mindset is exhausted.
I no longer shed tears at PTS’s (put to sleep). 
Not in front of clients.
Not in the bathroom.
Not on the train going home.
But…
At night, when I stare at the ceiling at bedtime.
I guess it’s all good in some sick way for I can now concentrate on the owners and offer more support from mi alma which no longer feels.
My blog on transitioning to this career has ended. My thoughts on the continuance in this career as well as school is now questionable. 
Because…
The other side of this business is still present and for that matter, will always be. As long as there are insecure, unstable nurses-the Mean Girls , in this field the drama will thrive.
Don’t want to end up on NY1 so I’ve grown thick skin, a thick heart an emotional void and most importantly the desire to have only working relationship with them.
No, you are not my friend or close confident.
No, I do not need your approval to validate how I do my job.
No, I will not gossip about other co-workers, maliciously or even constructively with you.
No. No. No.
Accusing me of not cleaning?
Please watch the video.
2016 is in full string and transitions seem to be lining up. I’ve thought about leaving the state in search of Tech Nursing work. My mind is working, talking to others who have relocated and gauging if this is a necessary transition to make.
Time will tell. Actually the Fall will tell.
I’m biting at the bit and I love an adventure.
Why not?
Cali, Georgia, one of the Carolina’s. Florida? Virginia, Washington, Seattle?
Who knows.
“Po: Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.”
Thought this New Year would be like any other New Year’s spent in the past: bed by 10pm New Year’s Eve and waking up to the same old same way on New Year’s Day.
I was wrong.
First…
I made plans to go out on New Year’s Eve, to eat, drink and be merry. I did eat, drink and was merry by sipping on bourbon drinks, champagne, sparkling wine and eating at a restaurant in the hood with some special people who made socializing for an introvert comfortable.
Second…
Leading up to the New Year was not so good job wise. I left the job that hired me when no other would. Not going into specifics, it was a decision based on hurt. Hurtful in the way my boss handled a dispute with a co worker-by, doing, nothing. It seems as if climactic events in mi vida spur up at this time of year.
“When the path you walk always leads back to yourself, you never get anywhere” Oogway
The time had come to move on and although I’ve known this for a while, pushing myself to do so was another thing. Comfort/Familiarity at times can stifle growth. Why take a chance, throwing your back to wind, and riding on a gust when it’s easier to slip into flannel pajamas and watch a marathon of SVU on the tube?
By leaving this job, I’ve placed my school in jeopardy as I no longer have a preceptor. My fur babies no longer have a doctor. My discounts from working there are no longer available which puts me on high alert in regards to providing pet care and meds for the fur babies.
It’s okay.
“One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it” Oogway
Third…
I am working in a Specialty Hospital in Emergency Room and Internal Medicine. I am WAY OVER my head and up to now don’t understand why I was hired as a Tech. I enjoy what I do although it is hard to deal with some of the ER cases or dealing with emergency mode when techs and doctors are trying to resuscitate an animal to no avail. I have trouble calculating meds and I’m not familiar with some of the meds or lab machines used in this specialty. At times, I feel like an idiot and question why I was not hired as an assistant when it seemed this was the direction the interview process was leading to.
But…
I was told I qualify under “License Eligible” due to my enrollment in a vet tech program. I want to believe an accident was made but…
“There are no accidents” Oogway
So begins 2016 and I have no worries about the past because it is done. No worries about the future (at least let me believe I don’t) and presently I am okay with where I’m at.
I’ve given up quite a bit of my life to do what I do… 
I don’t
.. have an apartment of my own
I don’t
…have the solitude at the end of the day or the tranquility of the morn
I don’t
…control the cleanliness
I don’t
… meditate or practice my DVD yogas or try to be a wanna be Buddhist anymore
I don’t
… have personal conversations on the phone…for the privacy in order to have the personal is no longer there
I don’t
… cook the way I used to-I seldom cook which is not what I am used to
I don’t
…have lazy Sundays or binge tv watching-I hardly watch tv and Sundays, well , I work at doing what I’ve given up quite a bit to do what I do
I don’t
…have normal days off, for my Saturdays starts on Mondays
I don’t
…wear makeup or heels to work
I don’t
…wear jewelry especially my new pandora bracelet or have my hair flowing in the wind to work
I don’t
…make lots of money to buy fancy clothes and get my hair ‘did’ on a regular basis
I don’t
…check my FB account on a daily basis or text till my fingers freeze
I don’t
…play with puppies or kittens all day long
But
I do
…help save lives and help to end the lives of those who desperately need to go
I do
… come home in the evening knowing I contributed immensely towards helping an animal in need
I do
…bust my ass in getting the school work done to make sure I know what I’m doing when it comes to treating our furry or naked friends
I do
…respect propofol, kitty magic (dexdomitor combination), and an ecollar
and most especially a burrito wrap 
I don’t like feeling bad because of the DON’T’S but I feel pretty awesome applesauce about the DO’S
***images from the world wide web
Not all days are good days
…On a Sunday, working with a vet who thinks you’re incompetent because you can’t place a catheter into the deflated vein of a severely dehydrated dog scheduled for an euthanasia and witnessing the vet, not able to place the catheter as well but yet you’re the one feeling useless and incompetent
…Waking up on that Sunday and realizing you have 7-8 more hours of neurotic emergency-paced work in a general practice hospital and wishing you could just pull the covers over your head and block out the world
…Going to bed Saturday night stressed because you arrived home at 4:30pm from working at the clinic and the cable/modem decided to go out and did not return until 11pm and you spent two hours working on an online math test only to fail which makes it ‘failed test #2’
…Waking up on a Saturday, knowing it’s a Saturday and dragging your butt off to the clinic after working 12 hours on Friday at the other place which turned out to be a good day at the clinic but since this piece is about not all days being good, this sentence stops…here.
…Working on Friday stuck running patient rooms under the vet who runs at an emergency pace and the day is spent restraining and sticking your thermometer up animal butts because the vet is micromanagement and will not allow you to do anything but work the rooms and stick your thermometer up the animal butts and doing this for twelve hours
…Going to bed Thursday night realizing what the next day entails before it even begins
…Working with a favourite vet on Thursday for twelve hours who is relaxed and let’s me do the job I was hired to do
…Waking up on a Thursday, knowing it is my Monday while everyone I know is winding down looking forward to the weekend but I go into work optimistic because I am working with a favourite vet and the end of the twelve hour day will bring a sense of accomplishment
Not all days are good days
…When the sacrifices made to enter into a new field hits reality and you realize what was sacrificed has irreparable consequences
…Wishing you didn’t give up that $##,###.## a year salary with full medical and dental coverage but not wishing for the job that went along with it
…The clothes you have are from 1999 and 1/3 of them no longer fit, most especially when you need to show up at work sans the scrubs
…The last haircut was in 2012 and you paid ridiculous amounts of money for a trim and shape, which resembled the same style you concocted at home that same morning before going to the salon
…Seeing the dust bunnies in your room take shape and move on their own because you can’t reach them with a dust buster unless you move every bit of furniture, stacks of papers and exercise machines to get at them
SIGH
Not all days are good days…
***all photos taken from the world wide web
Yesterday, I saved a dog on a Saturday morning in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
He was running across a busy street known as Prospect Park West, adjacent to Prospect Park in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
I was on my way to work at the clinic about to cross this street to walk on the side of the park when a dog ran into the middle of traffic.
Well…
I ran out into the middle of traffic to stop the cars from potentially running over the dog.
Well…
The dog and myself were lucky enough to not meet HIM, our maker that day. I was able to hold back traffic but not the dog, now running down a block. The Farmers Market was taking place at the time so lots of humans were roaming the area. I called out to a jogger, “Please grab the dog”. He did so, hesitantly.
I made my way towards the dog and slowed down my pace as I approached it with my hand extended. The dog sat down, tail wagging and the jogger released his hold on the harness.
I wrapped my fingers around the metal link and did not let go.
The dog had tags on the collar…!
I sat on the curb, with Gus leaning on me, as a small crowd of witnesses gathered. I called the owners, balancing the tag with the info and punching the numbers into my cell. Others from the crowd volunteered to hold Gus.
I declined.
I was not going to let this angel out of my fingers.
A voice responded to my call and the wife of the husband who was walking the dog in Prospect Park was hysterical. She was at work and had no idea this transpired. I told her our location and promised to wait until her husband arrived.
Meanwhile the crowd slowly dispersed as I relayed the information about the owner coming.
Boy…was I gonna be late for work.
I’ve worked at PPAC for over a year now and cannot recall a time I was late.
It was hard to move with him as he was too big for me to carry with my bags and I had no leash to guide him but we made our way over to a nearby bench.
I heard the husband-owner calling to Gus before seeing him as my back was turned to the side. He ran up to us and Gus was so excited to see his owner. He thanked me profusely, saying I saved his kids’ lives because if he returned home without Gus, they would be devastated. He apologized and admitted while in the park with Gus, he took his eyes off him for a moment, and he was gone. He wanted my address, to send flowers, to drop off a gift. I declined and I stretched out my hand. He grasped it firmly and we shook. He had tears in his eyes and I almost broke down crying.
Well…
Prior to this happening I was making my way to work was feeling discouraged and experiencing serious second doubts about my career choice. It can be frustrating and confusing at times when doubt seeps in the alma.
I love climbing mountains, and I love challenges and I feel stuck in a rut right now-a rut caused by my own psyche and wanting to know everything all at once.
Gus was a sign, in a strange way. Meeting him on that Saturday morning was a wake-up call.
I am, where I am supposed to be right here and now.
When I made it to work, I was deemed a hero. I saved Gus’ life. The owner (wife) phoned and asked for my info to send a gift.
I declined…again.
I told her I was a vet tech and she laughed and said Gus was lucky to have run into me. She asked where I worked and I told her. Hopefully, we’ll get another client.
In the meantime, thank you Gus.
Yesterday, a dog named Gus saved me on a Saturday morning in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…
All of us love to shine our little lights. It gives us a sense of purpose to have the part of us, we so cherish and feel so worthy to own shine forth and if it is acknowledged by a boss or co-worker, lover, family, dog, cat… the happy, I am worthy dance commences.
The ‘little light’ which shines from each of us, consists of show-casing our talents, what we do so well, and how it benefits others, even if you have the ’Shining’ Stephen King wrote about.
Musicians, artist, dog trainers, cleaners, designers, and the burger king cook who makes an awesome whopper-all shine on! We feel proud when given the chance to demonstrate our talents no matter how mundane they may seem to everyday society.
There are those who shine their lights graciously with a tad of humble pie and others, well, the shine on their lights is above the normal kilowatt viewing and often leave halos around the eyes for days after a 2 second exposure. Different strokes for different folks and yes, those that shine a tad too much are dangerously akin to non-verbal BULLHORNS!
At my job, the job I transitioned to and absolutely adore, little lights are constantly shining, glowing, fading, extinguishing and reigniting with a bang. The tech’s and doctors all have their little lights, special talents which, set them apart from everyone else and acknowledgement of these talents can turn a person’s partential bad day into a good.
So tomorrow, when I go in for my shift, I will acknowledge the “little light” shining from a co-worker and bring a smile to their face which in turn will make me smile.
The owner and DVM of the practice where I work eloquently stated those words prior to a surgical procedure and of course, it got me thinking…later…at home after a glass of wine.
The clinic is a small animal practice, and in my five months of working there I have assisted in the treatment and examination of dogs, cats, hamsters, and a rat. So yes, I would have to agree with him in not eating those animals.
But…
Pigs, cows, sheep, veal, chicken, fish, pork chops, spare ribs, hamburger, meatloaf, fried chicken, baked chicken, salmon, catfish, trout-Oh My.
I tried to be a vegetarian- it fell through less than a week.
A vegan once used the scare tactics of describing the butchering process of cows and the toxins and hormones released once the animal knows death is approaching.
Mind you, he decided to have this conversation with me as I chomped on a well-done burger with tomatoes and lettuce.
I listened, nodded my head and continued to consume my burger.
An interim pastor at our church stated she would not consume animals or fish with eyes.
Okay.
Off with the head!!!
As much as I adore animals of every kind, except mosquitos, becoming a vegetarian is not in my future.
I will cut down drastically on my consumption of meat and try to purchase only organic. If there was a way to know how animals are butchered, I would research and locate the facility with the least traumatic and inhuman method and purchase products from that company.
Until then, even though I know, Meat is Murder I will continue to eat it.
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