Advertisements

SELF…ish.

Self-discipline  IMG_2564

-the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despittemptations to abandon it.

Yeah right.

Been trying to be ‘self-discipline’ for over 50 years and all I’m reaping with that discipline is sabotage of the self

Self-worthIMG_2559

-another term for self-esteem

Yeah right.

Taking a job that does not reward demanding work, excess hours spent completing projects and scrimps on overtime and still working there? Yep-that’s exactly why I make the yearly salary I do. Ups and downs of life living with depression can take a toll on self-worth leaving it defenseless against soul sucking predators who are everywhere, in every field.

 But…

running with a group, racing for my own personal gain can seriously stimulate that old self-worth and lord help the mofo who tries to mess with my self-worth when it’s fueled by natural endorphins. Yep.  You can mess with my salary but not my head.

Self-determination

 -absorbed in one’s own thoughts, activities or interest

Yeah right.

I’m so absorbed in my own thoughts, activities and interest that an impenetrable wall somehow was built around my heart without any funding or government interference. The joke was truly on me without my knowledge or participation.

 Self-Assured

confident on one’s own abilities or character

 Yeah right.

I was so self-assured on accepting a job that started me at 31k. Then realized how the scam management team operated and requested an increase to 37k. The work load increased and the only salary increases were to everyone else’s except mine.

Wowza.

Self-ishIMG_2562

-lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure

Yeah right.

Selfish is looking pretty good right now. Time to reel in the empathy and substitute it with apathy and concentrate on what matters most: me, myself and I.

Guess what?

Ain’t gonna happen.IMG_2560

The me, myself and I cares too deeply for the sentient beings who have no voice, are seen but not heard, are invisible until the rain falls and…

(So sorry,

this does not include the mosquitos.)

Those opportunist mini drones who thrive on the sucking and stealing blood from those who have not given consent or signed a waiver steer me towards…

Being.IMG_2558

 SELF-ISH.

Advertisements

To run the impossible…NOT!

As most of you know I’ve been running/intervals.

Running races, running away depression, running away weight-basically running! 2016 was the year of the 5k, 3.1 more or less in mileage and in Ppark where my comfort level rests comfortably and yet…

There is the desire to move forward and forward I did go with a personal distance best of 7 miles during the summer. So looking forward to what 2017 may bring and yes it is the year of moving beyond comfort.

This year, GOD willing and with HIS help, I’m choosing to run for more than myself. I feel the need to give back in some way, most especially with the fear of uncertainty running (pun) rampant right now.

For 2017,  I’m using my running to help save kids’ lives by fundraising for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital as I train. I’m running for kids who might be too sick to run today, but who could one day be running alongside me (beating my butt) because the money I raised helped find a cure for childhood cancer. No automatic alt text available.

I’m attracted to St Jude for numerous reasons. For starters, families never receive a bill for treatment, travel, housing or food. St Jude concentrates on treating children and parents have the opportunity to be there alongside them instead of worrying where the finances are coming from in terms of treatment.

Please, Please donate at:

http://heroes.stjude.org/emccalla

Help me reach my goal of $500 for this is BIGGER than any of us and kids deserve the chance to recover and do great things! 🙂 !

Thank you so much!

Elena

%d bloggers like this: