Las Estaciones De Mi Alma…(The seasons of my soul)

Invierno (Winter)
Mi Alma duerme 

My soul sleeps
For winter
Happy in the cold 
Warm in the body
Embraced at night with furs that live
Wrapped in a sheet with feathers dead
Bring comfort to a comatose mind

La Primavera (Spring)
Mi alma baila

My soul dances
For the air is tinged
With energy and rebirth
Resetting my soul to sync
Within nature at its most
Obvious time

Artwork: Marvin Piqué

El Verano (Summer)
Mi alma se sienta con el sol

My soul sits with the sun
Moving in slow mo’
Jiggly with passion
Humid, Heat, Hotness
Because she can

El Otoño (Fall)
Mi alma duele con recuerdos de Perdida

My soul hurts with memories of loss
Diá de Muertos
The altar once filled with marigolds and 
Bits of food, pictures of the elders 
Sits in a cardboard box in the closet
Because I cannot, love cannot
Add you to them

Wood and paper come from trees
Heart and lungs rule the body
Loss and love nailed in the alma
Scars deeply 

All About Eve…or The Snake Made Me Do It

ACCORDING…

to the King James bible, GOD created Adam in his own image using dust from the ground and the breath of life from his own mouth. 

Thus, Adam became a living entity sown in the Garden of Eden constructed purposely for his tending.

He was immediately given charge of keeper of the garden, named every beast, cattle and fowl and could eat freely of every tree in the garden. 

EXCEPT…

from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

“Why not?”, one may ask. 

Because, he would surely die! 

AS…

God told him so. 

Adam needed a helper since the beasts did not serve this purpose so while he slept, God removed a rib and constructed woman. Both naked and not ashamed they carried on in the garden

UNTIL…

The woman ate fruit from that tree at the urging of a snake. Both were punished when God found out.

The snake?

Forever to crawl on its belly in the dust for the rest of its life, its head to be bruised by the seed of the woman. 

The woman now called, Eve? 

The heel of her seed will be bruised by the snake and her sorrows multiplied in the conception and delivery of children. Subservient to her husband she will always be.

Adam? 

He will eat of that tree, the root of all this ruckus, transformed to thorns and thistle the rest of his life. Bread he will consume until he returns to the dust he was taken from.

Eve is forever vilified for falling for the snake’s temptation. It was surely her fault and her fault alone for eating the fruit (now accepted as an apple). 

BUT…

Her apple eating was 

DISCOVERY AND FREEDOM!!!

Nakedness-God had to make them clothing.

Child-bearing-She could now have children (along with sex).

Banishment-She could get out of the garden and watchful eyes.

Passive aggressive-Adam does all the work. 

Her offspring’s, offspring, lived hundreds of years. 

I guess it really was all about Eve and thanks to the snake that made her do it.

Daydreams or…Mini Vacations of the mind

Daydreams are mini vacations of the mind
I carried this flower throughout the first hour of my shift at work
It was cumbersome as only one hand could stock

Messages Image(1163073376).jpegBut…
This once vital and youthful inflorescence
Deserved a final romp through the Co op grounds

Daydreams are mini vacations of the mind
My determination of being present in the moment
Was disrupted by the fragile flower in my hand
And I thought, ‘Oh my, you are dying’
And then I thought, ‘I am too’
But…
Your life lived was way shorter than my life living

Daydreams are mini vacations of the mind
You started as a seedling, plucked when mature                   IMG_1951
Roots guillotined leaving sap to seep
Thrusted into cold, cold and so cold water
Transported from one state to another in a cardboard box
Bunched up tightly in a bucket with others from your tribe
No room to droop, only to stand tall and upright
But…
You survived the journey

Daydreams are mini vacations of the mind
Unloaded from a cool truck in the daylight hours
Of a hot, hot and so hot NYC morning
You and the others made your way into the Co op
Where unpacked by produce workers
You were put on display on top of a wooden pallet
Above your head the sticker price of $1.25 per stem
But…
Still standing strong, almost defiant, your blossoms raised high

Daydreams are mini vacations of the mind
So your journey towards dying continues
For the next day when I returned to work
The bucket was half empty and not half full
And to be honest I couldn’t tell from the wilted flowers who.
Stayed behind for another day of sale
If you were gone or not
Because you all do look alike anyway
But…
My mind stayed in that moment of the day before
Of knowing that all
Must die in some way IMG_1949

AF…or Can’t Stand Losing You

I LOVE Chardonnay
Lox and cream cheese
Chinese take out
Sashimi
Salt and vinegar potato chips

I LOVE Cabernet
Noodles and meatballs
BBQ take out
Pizza
Pringles sour cream and chives

I LOVE Bourbon
French Fries
Chicken wings
French Fries
Chicken Wings

A cantankerous relationship we had
Through laughter, boredom and tears
Funerals, celebrations, observations and fears
I was there for you
You, here for me

My heart, loved both of you hard
But the spirit of grapes and fermented grain
Had me in regret and perpetual shame
As they never did love
LOVE, me for me

We carried on for many years
Met in the evenings and late afternoons
Then early morn before flowers bloomed IMG_1904.jpg
Love turned to hate
HATE, turned to dust

Said goodbye to you on the 1st of the month
Weeks amounted as days dissolved
And yet I held unto my resolve
No longer together we
WE, are not together

I am alone now as I’ve always been
As I was when I was with you
Though I believed it untrue
IMG_1909 copy.jpgFor how, could I be
Be, lonely, when we were

Feelin’ Moody…

Feelin’ Moody

Move fast and keep busy
Cuz after 12 I will be dizzy

Kicking back bourbon in hand
flipping the channels and feelin’ moody

Ba da da da da da feelin’ moody.         200w-1.gif

Hello newscast, what’cha showing?
I’ve come to watch the violence flowin’

Any good news or just crimes for me?
Doot-in doo-doo feelin’ moody.   200w

I’ve got so much to do
Promises I didn’t keep
I’m frazzled and anxious and ready to scream
Let the nighttime come and steer me to sleep

Life you bug me
Feelin’ moody

A Vent…

I am far stronger than most

not invincible…

and don’t subscribe to that bullshit

Helen Reddy song of being

I am Woman

‘Womens Rights’ only pertains to white women.

I am not…

your nanny

housecleaner

babysitter

janitor.

I own a home

you would give anything to own.

But…

you don’t.

My home comes from my uneducated Caribbean parents

who believed in their self-worth,

believed in raising their children

in a place where a landlord could not evict them.

I don’t need to preach about who I am and.   IMG_1773

justify my right to breathe the same air as you do.

Just stay the fuck out of my way

keep your pity party to yourselves and…

LET ME BE!

I am a woman of colour

respect or leave from my sight.

Essential…no longer Associate :)

“I don’t see the bin for Flowering Chives” I asked Julie.

“You can place them in the Chives-local produce bin”, she responded from across the aisle.

I’m working temporary at the Food Coop stocking produce.

During normal times, the coop requires 3hrs of monthly volunteer shifts

and my shift was placing organic labels on the produce

in the basement, with a talkative crew.

But…

due to the Corona, all shifts have been suspended and most members have been hired to work for…

minimum wage.           101010428_714861959248941_178266032119480320_n

Now I hold the title of “Essential Worker” instead of “Training Associate”

severed by my resignation after three years at an org

with glass ceilings

stained with smudge marks

by those who tried to break through.

My choice. My body. My decision.

Julie is the supervisor for Produce at the food coop.

She is meticulous as I will never be.

I lack the energy to be meticulous in just about anything.

“I can’t believe it’s eight o’clock and the shelves aren’t stocked!!”

“We’ll get there Julie”, I said from atop a small stool stocking

the flowering chives

and secretly thinking,

How the hell do you cook flowering chives?’

“When you’re done with the chives could you stock the nettles? Just be careful when you’re bagging them.

They have thorns and it burns if it pierces the skin.”

“What do you do with nettles?”

“Well you can make tea from the leaves and you can boil the leaves and put into food”, Julie said.

“Why in the world would you cook with an herb that attacks you?”, I responded.

Sure enough…

I got pricked by a nettle at the wrist which led to a burning sensation.

“I got pricked!”.

“It will go away in 10 minutes”.

And…

it did, just as Julie said.

Four hours of my six hour shift was spent with Julie.

Stocking some melons and peppers, but mostly herbs.

I learnt more about herbs than was necessary

and…

Julie’s meticulousness found its way

into my hands.

I started arranging the bins to look attractive

neat…

inviting to the eyes and to the touch.

I became present in the task before me instead of daydreaming the day away

planning for what would happen when I was done

when I got home

walked the dog and

prepared my lunch.

For those four hours working at the coop

I was in the now.

 

You can’t…

“You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need”-Rolling Stones

To have
teeth, white as fresh snow that bedazzles the eye, I want that expensive Sonic toothbrush

To have
the cleanest floor, one a Queen can eat off without plates, I want that Roomba

source

To have
the fittest body, tight in the right places and loose where it ought to be, I want that Equinox membership with a personal trainer

To have
the best frying pan, that distributes heat evenly across its radius, frying food to perfection, I want a Le Creuset Toughened Non-Stick Shallow Frying pan

To have
the best running shoes, that will propel my body forward, moving faster than any others running with mediocre shoes, I want the Nike Zoomx Vaporfly.   squareSole-Trees-usage-pictures-162.gif

To have
the best piano, whose strings would bring out the highs and lows of classical music, the best of my banging, I want  a Bösendorfer

Well…

I can have all I want in my mind
Because the money to buy the things I want
is not sitting on fluffy golden cushion in my bank account

At times, the want is not what I need.

images

%d bloggers like this: