Philosophy

Too Blessed…To Be Stressed…

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Walking the fur babies this morning led to a wonderful quote from a woman I greeted with, “How are you?”

“Too blessed to be stressed”, she replied and smiled a smile that competed with the brilliance of the sun’s rays on the sidewalk

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What a positive way to begin one’s day. A new day, without the anger and disappointment carried over from yesterday or the worries and fretfulness of tomorrows ‘what’s to come’.

 

Too blessed to be stressed.

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Those words remind me to heed and acknowledge the power of Gratitude.

Gratitude often ignored, often forgotten while one concentrates on the wants of what to have, and not  of what one already has.

It’s hard.

Life gets in the way and ruins all the good thoughts.

I don’t have a shower with cold water-at least I have a shower.

I don’t like the food I’m forced to buy due to finances-at least I have food.

I don’t like the apartment I live in as it’s overheated, too humid and needs new flooring and tiles-at least I have an apartment to call my own and it keeps me warm, with a floor to walk on.

I don’t have enough money-at least I have some money.

I don’t like having to make my own lotion and shampoo because I can’t afford to buy the ‘good stuff’-at least you have the ingredients and the stove and fridge to make the lotion and the shampoo.

I don’t like Fios or Time Warner service and can’t afford the full package deal-at least I got cable and a tv to watch it on.

I can bathe, cook, clean myself up, wake up from sleeping in a comfortable bed, have fur babies whom I love ( and where my salary goes to), a salary of some sort, food (okay it’s not all organic and vegan as I’d like it to be), once again FOOD, clothing (okay most of it’s from Sears)-so I need to shut up, get my butt back into volunteering and going to church to ease my mind and get the balance right in my head.

Yes.

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I am too blessed to be stressed.

 

**images from the Word Wide Web.

On having a bad day…

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Not all days are good days

…On a Sunday, working with a vet who thinks you’re incompetent because you can’t place a catheter into the deflated vein of a severely dehydrated dog scheduled for an euthanasia and witnessing the vet, not able to place the catheter as well but yet you’re the one feeling useless and incompetent

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…Waking up on that Sunday and realizing you have 7-8 more hours of neurotic emergency-paced work in a general practice hospital and wishing you could just pull the covers over your head and block out the world

…Going to bed Saturday night stressed because you arrived home at 4:30pm from working at the clinic and the cable/modem decided to go out and did not return until 11pm and you spent two hours working on an online math test only to fail which makes it ‘failed test #2’

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…Waking up on a Saturday, knowing it’s a Saturday and dragging your butt off to the clinic after working 12 hours on Friday at the other place which turned out to be a good day at the clinic but since this piece is about not all days being good, this sentence stops…here.

…Working on Friday stuck running patient rooms under the vet who runs at an emergency pace and the day is spent restraining and sticking your thermometer up animal butts because the vet is micromanagement and will not allow you to do anything but work the rooms and stick your thermometer up the animal butts and doing this for twelve hours

…Going to bed Thursday night realizing what the next day entails before it even begins

…Working with a favourite vet on Thursday for twelve hours who is relaxed and let’s me do the job I was hired to do

…Waking up on a Thursday, knowing it is my Monday while everyone I know is winding down looking forward to the weekend but I go into work optimistic because I am working with a favourite vet and the end of the twelve hour day will bring a sense of accomplishment

Not all days are good days

…When the sacrifices made to enter into a new field hits reality and you realize what was sacrificed has irreparable consequences

…Wishing you didn’t give up that $##,###.## a year salary with full medical and dental coverage but not wishing for the job that went along with it

…The clothes you have are from 1999 and 1/3 of them no longer fit, most especially when you need to show up at work sans the scrubs

…The last haircut was in 2012 and you paid ridiculous amounts of money for a trim and shape, which resembled the same style you concocted at home that same morning before going to the salon

…Seeing the dust bunnies in your room take shape and move on their own because you can’t reach them with a dust buster unless you move every bit of furniture, stacks of papers and exercise machines to get at them

SIGH

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Not all days are good days…

 

***all photos taken from the world wide web

 

It’s been a long time…Part 2

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It’s been a long time…

Since I swam endless laps in a deep-water pool.
Feeling the cool water massage my muscles as I swim backstroke, breaststroke and struggled through a front crawl. Gliding, swishing, breathing, in rhythm as the strokes are counted on a water resistant watch.

It’s been a long time…

Since I laughed until I cried.
Laughing away at some ridiculous joke or a comedy on HBO such as ‘Me, Myself and Irene’. Laughing till the stomach muscles tighten, taken by surprised at the sudden outburst of muscle spasm.

It’s been a long time…

Since I’ve been in love.
The kind of love that’s reckless, and fills the soul with puffy pink butterflies oozing with cotton candy, like the kind you tried for the first time as a kid.

It’s been a long time…

Since, I cried a good cry.
Actually, no, today I did, as I prepared Pucchi for his trip to the crematorium.
Pucchi, a maltese mix and client at the clinic had undergone 12 months of chemo and succumb to his cancer early this morning. I was there five months ago to meet him during my initial interview for the position I hold now and participated in his chemo treatment numerous times. His owner was heartbroken, as I was, but now Pucchi runs free of treatments on the other side of the rainbow bridge.

It’s been a long time…

Since I had a vacation.
Not the vacation the masses flock to but a vacation that is stimulating, active and engaging and requires allot more effort than lounging on the beach baking to look like a lobster, steamed and floating in butter.

It’s been a long time…

Since, I sat on the couch.
Reading, from my Kindle in the sunlight, all afternoon, listening to classical music on the radio and slowly sipping a glass of cabernet chased down with Godiva chocolates.

It’s been a long time…

Since, I fell asleep to the sounds of crickets chirping.
Under a star lit sky, where you could actually see each individual star, quiet, sleepy, cool night, no ac, no humidifier, silent, sleepy, sleep.

It’s been a long time…

Since, I had Pho.
Vietnamese Pho.
The kind of Pho you get in San Francisco, during a day when the fog takes a little longer than usual to lift away towards oblivion. The Pho served with shrimp and noodles, spicy, hot, comforting, warming like a serious hug,  uplifting. The Pho you can’t get in NYC.

It’s been a long time…

Since, I wore hot pants and platform heels.
Actually, let it remain, a long, long, long, long time I attempt to wear such a pairing again.
No, wait.
If I live to 90, let it be my celebration.
Ninety years old, posing in hot pants and platform shoes!!

Forgiveness

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“Phyllis Ferguson, mother of the Chardon High School shooting victim Demetrius Hewlin, told ABC News that if she had the chance to talk to suspected gunman T.J. Lane, “I would tell him I forgive him because, a lot of times, they don’t know what they’re doing. That’s all I’d say.” (ABC news site)

This interview appeared on a TV network news broadcast. Phyllis Ferguson, whose son was murdered, spoke these words calmly and serenely. Her stoic presence along with the impact of her words affected my usual nonchalant reaction to what I deemed as yet another ‘sensationalism take on a news story’. Instead of changing the channel, I sat on my couch, watched the remainder of the interview, and cried.

Ferguson’s son, Demetrius, along with several other students, was shot while socializing amongst friends in their school’s cafeteria. Some of the students survived while Demetrius and two others died in the hospital. The apprehended gunman, a student also at the same school is now awaiting trial.

The crime was horrific, the scars left on the survivors, and those who knew the victims are incomprehensible in my view.  I have not lost someone to a violent crime and pray it will not happen. The teenage gunman, acted alone, heartless and calculatingly cruel in his decision to arrive at school that day with the knowledge he would terminate and cripple lives. Who made him GOD? What right did, He, posses to execute and extinguish lives? The entitlement and judgment were his alone and I feel anger towards him, balancing on hatred, without the knowledge of his background story. I am judging a person I do not know.

A mother lost her son to murder and had justification to hate the shooter and to speak ill of him and his family. Instead of doing so, Phyllis Ferguson chose to not let hate fester within her. She chose to forgive and in doing so allowed the memories of her son to remain pure in her heart not overshadowed by hatred or worse yet, to allow the hatred to fester within the memories of her son. Now when she reflects on her son, she can relate to pure memories instead of memories tainted of her son with the afterthought of the shooter.

I admire Phyllis Ferguson, for her strength, courage and faith. Her actions, in a time of emotional trauma exemplify true Christianity. Thank you Phyllis Ferguson and God Bless.

“I taught Demetrius not to live in the past, to live in today and forgiveness is divine. You have to forgive everything. God’s grace is new each and every day”.-Phyllis Ferguson

Loner

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A friend posted this quote on FB.

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” ~ Jodi Picoult

Read it once and thought this is not correct; some loners may truly enjoy solitude instead of socialization. Amongst a host of comforting attributes, solitude brings reflection, tranquility, solace and protectiveness. With solitude, there is a deliberation of the self that demands stillness, a meditation on the me, myself and I with no interruption.

Many cannot understand the benefits of or how to fit solitude into their lifestyle.  Still others readily presume solitude is a negative state of being; to be alone- that dreadful word-even the sound of it conjures up a barren desert. Moreover, if you are a loner, then you have done something wrong, there is a reason you don’t fit into society, why you don’t blend in.

How do you blend into the world if you cannot blend into society?

People are disappointing. The ways we deal or chose not to deal with people can be disappointing and the ways people deal with us or chose not to can also be disappointing. I believe expectations placed upon others, based upon our wants and needs are destined to result in disappointments. We cannot expect or change people to our likings. That may be the reason “loners” give up trying. Expectations are set too high and are unattainable. They have not learned how to navigate through the world while remaining objective and accepting with serenity. Lord grant me…

I am a loner (sometimes being alone is the best way to be). Am I a loner because I tried to blend into the world and people disappointed me? It’s a possibility and may be closer to the truth than I care to admit.

At this time, I am in recovery from two year’s worth of medical, physical but not emotional stuff. Being alone right now, is the best way to be, while I write and get myself together so I can jump into the next chapter of life.