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Is it okay?

I AM ANGRY…is it okay?

I am angry at my unemployment, my lack of finances, at the discriminating practices of thirty -something hiring managers in the position of deciding my fate. I am angry at having to live in one room of a clutter-infested apartment. I am angry with my county, my country, at the Republicans, at the President and the lack of health insurance and my unexpected weight gain.

 I am angry with dog walkers who do not clean up after their pooches and I am angry with people who abuse animals. I am angry with mom for reminding me I ate one too many chips from the super size bag she bought.

I am angry at the liquor store that sells my favourite wine and I am angry at my inability to stop drinking after two glasses. I am angry my dogs demand to be walked in 20-degree coldness with sleet coming down and black ice on the ground.

I am angry at my hair for refusing to grow and ridiculing me every morning after it had a night of partying and wild abandonment while I was asleep, passed out and snoring. I am angry with last years’ boots that refuse to die even though the traction has long eroded and because  of “waste not want not” I cannot discard them as I would a broken television set or a broken heart…

I AM GRATEFUL…is it ok?

I am grateful for my dogs because they make me laugh on a daily basis. I am grateful for “The Best Christmas Present Ever”, and for the fifteen inches of snow that makes the world seem like a beautiful place even though it eventually  turns yellow and dirty and the truth is exposed.

 I am grateful for the house I have known for forty something years and the comfort and protection it gives on bleak and stormy days. I am grateful for the food on the table, which gives me the ability to exercise and the excuse to eat more. I am grateful for belonging to a church that supports my spiritual growth and reminds me by way of divine intervention not to curse out the parishioner who just insulted me…

I am grateful my mom made it through the surgery to remove a cancerous tumour from her colon. I am grateful she tolerated her chemo treatments while making fun of her port and losing some hair. I am grateful she is here to nag me about eating too many chips.

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