Pain-not the physical one but the emotional, deep down one that resonates from a memory of a conflict in which the receiver is left with the deposit of a throbbing, scorched, branded entity driven between the layers of the soul. And oh, so difficult to expel once its roots have found anchor.
Physical pain touches the internal or external surfaces of our bodies and produces a reaction.
A face will squeeze into a grimace, unstoppable tears flow, moaning, sighing, rocking back and forth, will dissolve once the pain ceases. Physical pain, on most occasions, leaves a visible mark for the trained and untrained eye to discover. It makes it presence known, outwardly or inwardly and arrogantly. It occurs with warning, sometimes without. It is unpredictable or predictable, quiet or loud. A simple aspirin may reduce its strength; a Vicodin will obliterate it.
Set to pounce, by way of a simple trigger, leading the soul into dark caverns without a flashlight, map or a tour guide. The bearer can easily present a smile to the world while the emotional pain carries out its silent torment inside. It is a coward and adores sucking the fight out its intended victims. It is devious and rots away the foundation of the soul’s vibrancy and pulse. It strangles, suffocates and asphyxiates, leaving the soul disjointed, discombobulated and sucked dry like a prune in a vacuum-packed canister.
If a snap of my finger or the sucking of my lips (Jamaican style) could make the emotional pain disappear, I’d be moving forward right about now, skipping through the Long Meadow at Prospect Park and drinking ONE glass of wine a week, while aging gracefully with my weight in check.
But, no, it’s not that easy.
Analyzing, obsessive rumination, age, endless amounts of wine (preferable white) and most importantly FORGIVENESS helps at times to uproot the emotional pain from its anchor onto a more level field. On other occasions, analyzing, obsessive rumination, age and endless amounts of wine (usually red) will impale FORGIVENESS and use it as fertilizer for the roots of emotional pain to attach deeper to the soul.
But, with darkness comes light…
With the help of therapy or alone, with a self-help book (New York Times bestseller) or a conversation with a close friend or stranger, healing emotional pain is possible.
Layer by layer or in a huge clump, dissected, torn to shreds or pieces, stomped out, extinguished or left to thaw out-emotional pain is healable.
Bring on the blow-torch and have the fire extinguisher nearby.
Change is a comin’ to my soul.
6 thoughts on “Emotional Pain”
Can’t tell you how many times over the years people have said to me, “I had no idea there was a problem.” Hiding pain behind a smile is a double-edged sword. It can say, “I’m okay, no problems here.” It can also say, “No, I won’t ask for help. No — couldn’t do that!” I finally pulled out the blow-torch a few years back. Thankfully, I found I was surrounded by a bunch of loving people who could act as the fire extinguisher when needed. They didn’t force me to change, they gave me a safe place in which to make the changes.
Change can be painful. Staying trapped in the same painful place can be much, much worse.
Thank you for sharing Ben and I agree, change can be painful but it is necesary in order to move forward.
I would like to say I have been there, and am there. Changing is never easy. I like your post. It has helped me.
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