Binds that hold…

These  friends I have known for about 30 years…

We are still connected.

We met at a State University located in Fredonia, NY in the eighties when things were cool and black was the colour in NYC.

We met at separate times.

Two of the three, I went on interesting dates with.

With one…

I was picked up in a station wagon straight out of the Brady Brunch set  and whisked off to a dance club. It was a fun date and no, we did not kiss, hold hands, or get crazy in the backseat. He later came out. He was always out but proceeded cautiously, for the world back then was not accepting as it is somewhat now.

The other

sent secret notes with a flower to my dorm room. We eventually connected, where upon he visited me and ate a bowl of cereal while we conversed. I thought he was strange…but so was I. We were together as couples were, back then when knowing a person mattered.

I met the friend of the other for she was extremely close to him. She carried within her soul a sacred light filled with calm and joy, but back then, she didn’t know it and neither did we, for the light was an ember that had yet to ignite.

I know not what else to say except ..

We are still connected.

What connects is always questionable and at times suspicious but in this scenario the connection is valid for it has endured time and space.

Not sure why…

for we have gone our separate ways, down paths some winding more than others. We all have starved, or better yet lived the life of a “starving artist”  in different cities at various times. Eventually we were able to eat, which led us to where we are now, with different careers and lives in different cities and…

We are still connected. 

Us thirty some odd years ago…





Mi primo is no longer hurting…

My cousin Zarak Mohandas Delattibodier has kidney disease and received dialysis two to three times a week.

He needs a kidney.

A donor was identified and during the beginning stages of gathering donor information, he developed an infection in the mitral valve of his heart.

The infection was resistant to antibiotics.

Zarak also had severe periodontal disease.

The hospital released my cousin after a four-day stay and sent him home with antibiotics for the heart and dental appointments to begin work on the perio. One week later, Zarak had difficulty breathing and went back to the hospital where he lost consciousness and was placed on a ventilator and an iv catheter with major antibiotics.

The infection of the heart was  fungal.

Mi pimo’s body was too weak to fight. He coded numerous times and stabilized with resuscitation but brain damage may have occurred and he could not breathe on his own.

The ‘No Resuscitation’ directive was put in place. Then rescinded by his wife who is separated from him.

Mi primo is no longer hurting…
No anxiety about the kidney donor’s health condition or going through dialysis

Mi primo is no longer hurting…
He may pass on in California, where he wanted to live and will receive a military burial

Mi primo is no longer hurting…
He’ll join his mom, mi Tía, whom he loved and whose hand he held as she drew her last breath

Mi primo is no longer hurting…
He can play his sax and jam with the angels

Mi primo is no longer hurting…
He can eat all the beef jerky, fried chicken and fries he desires with Excelsior Cabernet

Mi primo is no longer hurting…
He doesn’t have to carry the weight of his family’s dysfunction on his back anymore

I wish the decision could be made to turn off the switch that would enable his alma to be free…


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