Forgive and forget…no

How does one forgive when the hurt is too great?

Raised up in a Catholic school environment from first grade onward, I believed to forgive was to let go of the hurt inflicted from another. Forgiveness was akin to confession. You acknowledge the hurt, let it go and move on. The party who wronged you would be grateful for the forgiveness and be forever at the mercy of the one-you- who afforded them a respite akin to what HE almighty would have given them.

Bull to the s**t!

Forgiveness comes back…to bite the hand that you thought forgave ya.

Yeah.

I can rant and rave ‘bout the many who wronged me, done me no good and I carry on saying, “I forgive and forget”, mind you, I did do the forgiving, but if you thought I forgot what you did to me when I was down and out…you got another thing coming.

I do not forget.

Nor do I easily forgive. images

Why?

Cause the damage you inflicted upon me is as bad as your thoughts on the tattoos that grace my body.

You can look at me and smile, meanwhile in your pigheaded brain you’re like, “Damn what the F… Why did she go and ink herself up?

That’s what so called forgiveness is for me. I can look at you and say, “It does not matter. What’s done is done. I forgive you and let’s move on”.  Meanwhile my imaginary daggers laced with the venom of angry queen bees is right above your head awaiting countdown to launch!

Yeah baby!

Forgiveness is earned not given.

I earn my race medals through practice and hard work. Not by the magic words, “I forgive you”.

I train, practice and work out what fits in and what needs to go.

If only FORGIVENESS were that simple.

 

***image from the www

 

Ellipsis abuse or….what I am.

Ok…so I use allot of ellipsis. Allot.
In case you are wondering what ellipses are are defined by Webster:

Definition of ELLIPSIS
plural
ellipses
play\i-ˈlip-ˌsēz, e-\
1. 1a : the omission of one or more words that are obviously understood but that must be supplied to make a construction grammatically complete b : a sudden leap from one topic to another
2. 2: marks or a mark (such as … ) indicating an omission (as of words) or a pause

  images

I surely did not know the definition of ellipses let alone the word itself until now…and I don’t care.
Ellipsis comes naturally to me. I pause. Allot. It’s how my mind works.
Thought…pause…thought…pause…

Of course, my use of the ellipsis is not in the norm of grammatically correct usage. Realistically it’s not…in my brain it is. I’d also elicit a ‘rolling eyes’ response from English professors with my abuse of contractions. I do try to spell out the: I would not, I would, cannot, should not, etc. Laziness in typing gets the best of me at times and…

I do not apologize for my ellipses or my contractions.Yup.

 

***image borrowed from the world wide web

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